In this broken world…

I was walking to school one day, wallowing in the miseries of the world.  I have heard once that wisdom comes with sorrow, and I do not claim to be wise, but indeed it seems so.  The more I learn, the more heart breaks I encounter.  The more I know of this world, the more sorrowful it seems.  I remember the first time I actually sat down to read a newspaper properly: I cried.  How could I not cry?  It was such a horrible world in which we live!  There was flood, famine, murder, rape, thieves, corrupt officials… the list goes on and on.  There was misery and heartbreak.  People were wretched.  They suffered so much.  And others were so . . . inhumane to their fellowmen.  This is the world in which we live.  As I grew, as I read more and more, my heart was numbed.  I learned not to feel for those in sorrow and pain.  One can only take so much pain.  I learned not to cry.  But please, some day, find a quiet moment, and sit down with your newspaper.  Sit down and read through those sad tragedies that happen right beside us, try to reach out to those broken people, try to feel their pain.  Please, don’t numb yourselves, don’t lose the ability to cry.  Please don’t lose the ability to cry. 

So one day, I was walking to school, feeling so deeply for this corrupt world.  It was a moment of utter despair: what was there to love in this world? Why should I love it, when loving hurts so much? And what hope could there be?  It was a moment of utter darkness, when I could see no light in this sad, sad world. 

And then it just hit me.  It was literally a blow to my mind–it was so sudden.  Suddenly, I looked up to see the beautiful green trees.  The sky was not clear, but it was wonderful weather.  And the trees!  Have you ever noticed how beautiful a tree is?  How the light plays on the leaves to form a million shades of green?  And have you heard the birds?  They chatter so loudly it’s hard to hear oneself think.  Those happy little creatures. :)  And there was a most gentle wind.  You could not understand how I have always loved winds.  That gentle breeze, caressing my face, blowing softly at my hair, seemed to be God himself comforting me.  And indeed, I believe it was God at that moment who opened my eyes.  One minute, I was in utter darkness, and the next, He showed me how very beautiful this world was. 

This actually happened some time back, but even to this day, I marvel at that sudden opening of eyes.  Every time when the sorrows of the world seem too heavy, when I know not what what purpose there was, I look up to see the colorful flowers of spring, the green grass of summer, the changing leaves of autumn, the pure white snow of winter.  Everytime the burdens of this world became too hard to bare, I look up, and remember how beautifully God made this earth. 

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” -Gen 1:13

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One thought on “In this broken world…

  1. Hey Lossy!

    This post really captures some of how I’ve felt before. Your post reminded me of this verse in 2 Corinthians 7: 10,
    “For the grief according to God works repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the grief of the world works out death.”

    I would often get this overwhelming sense of how there’s nothing I can do to change what I see. For a while I couldn’t even talk about current events. I just couldn’t do it. I’ve been trying to open back up to it, though, think of how God would have me react to these situations, even though I’m only one person in this one place.

    -CA

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